Be Yourself

Before I lose this thought (as so often happens when I think about something and tell myself, “I’ll have to be sure to write about that” and then I totally forget) ~ this thought is about being yourself. Nobody does it better. Why do so few of us actually practice it? Or maybe it’s just me.

I saw a little blurb about Marin Alsop (who I think resembles Mary Chapin Carpenter with short hair) on The Today Show this morning and she made me think. In case you don’t know who Marin Alsop is, she is the first woman to head a major American orchestra (The Baltimore Symphony) and from 1993-1999(ish) she conducted our own Colorado Symphony Orchestra. We don’t go to the Symphony as often as I’d like, but I do believe I even attended a concert or two during her tenure. And I remember thinking it was very cool that we had a woman as a conductor.

In her interview this morning she reflected upon her career and how difficult it was to make it in a “man’s world” as a conductor. At one point she was chosen to conduct an orchestra at Tanglewood with her hero, Leonard Bernstein. To quote Marin:

“Part way thru he told me, ‘The conducting was fine, but it didn’t move me.’ I was devastated. Then he said, ‘Let's give the orchestra a break and then you'll come back and do this again.’ He said, ‘Forget about conducting now. Just be yourself and be the music.’ But then I came back in and it was the weirdest experience. I felt like I'd had a massage. I thought I had nothing to lose. I'm just going to try it. I remember in the middle of the piece—this makes me cry—he came up to me and whispered, ‘That's it.’ It was so liberating.”

If you’ve followed my saga, you know that I was raised pretty much to be seen and not heard. And not even seen sometimes… It wasn’t until I was in my mid-40’s that someone gave me Marin's advice ~ to just be myself. And it’s taken me another 10 years to trust in that. I’m still a work in progress (letting go and just being myself), but I’m getting there. And it truly is liberating. It’s easy. I don’t have to think about what others will think about me because it doesn’t matter. I’m just being me. And I don’t have to remember how to act or what to say because I’m just being me.

And I have found that when I let down my guard, smile, enjoy and just be me, people respond ~ in a very positive way. I get smiles back. I can make someone laugh. I can touch someone with my words - or an image. I get an invitation. I gain a friendship. I get a hug. I get a display space. I get an offer. And I can do this. I’m the best me there is ~ because only I can do it. This whole comfortable confidence thing is so new to me. I still have to consciously work on it, but it’s coming easier. And Marin is right ~ you have nothing to lose by being yourself.

To paraphrase Oprah, who paraphrased Maya Angelou ~
“Your 50’s are everything you are meant to be. You get to become yourself…”

And as The Beatles said ~
“It’s easy. All you need is love.”

Love for yourself…