Stuck in the Middle With Me

Recently I read an interview with Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Richard Ford, and was struck by something he said.

“Anybody can be good in a crisis. It’s after the climactic has happened that you have to be pretty determined. Most of life is spent in the after part. That’s when we have to be good humans. Where there’s no great drama is where we have to live."

I found that as simple as that statement is, it’s a good reminder to appreciate every moment. We do spend most of our time in the day-to-day ordinary and routine. Each day contains some of the boring and mundane. We seem to just drift thru our days, calling for weekend dinner reservations, planning the trip to Hawaii six months away -- always waiting for something more exciting to happen than anything that is going on now. I’ll be happy when…

Which brought to mind another inspiration I picked up along the way. As a photographer one of my favorite places to roam are old cemeteries. Wandering the rows of stone, I am intrigued by the stories that lie behind those messages literally etched in stone ~ all the history of lives lived and loved. I reflect on what kind of people they may have been… did they have happy lives? Were they loved? Did they love back? Did they enjoy what they did each day? How did they live their dash?

Most headstones carry the date a person is born and the date they die. The two are connected by a dash. So, you’re born, you die; but how did you live your dash? How did you spend your days? It was an idea presented in a eulogy I heard once. It caught my attention and I’ve never forgotten it. My dash certainly won’t be declared in stone as the dates will be. After I’m gone will anyone remember my dash?

So we live in the ordinary ~ in the here and now ~ the present. I used to think that I had to do something grand and flamboyant to be remembered. I needed to be famous to be someone. I constantly felt inadequate, was constantly striving for more. But I’m learning there is much to be said for just living in the middle ~ in the dash if you will. As Mr. Ford said, “That’s when we have to be good humans.” And maybe that’s enough ~ to live a good and decent life. Yup, I think being in the middle is where I’m meant to be. I’m trying it on for size and it’s feeling pretty comfortable.

And the bonus? I truly believe that when you accept who you are and become satisfied, content and happy with yourself and you don't need a single thing to make you complete ~ you’re enough just the way you are ~~~ that’s when great things happen.